Red Light

I'm in my car, stopped at a red light just like everyone else. Since there's really not much I could do, I just look around to see if there are any hot girls or strangers picking their noses in the cars to my left or right. Of course, even if there were, I don't usually do much afterwards. I have wandering eyes and like seeing hot girls or weird mishaps. It's not like I'll ever strike up a conversation with them saying "That is a great nose picking technique...teach me".

Anyway, while stopped at a red light, I usually just check out the cars stopped around me. This is where I can't help but laugh because I find amusement at stopping at red lights with traffic. What amuses me enough that I find myself laughing in my car? Those dumb fucks that inch up while they're stopped at a red light. It's really funny if you think about it. What's the most you can inch your car up at a red-light? A few inches?

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?" is what I usually wonder that makes me laugh. Way to go, you're now an inch or two closer to your destination. What a riot! You can't move forward until the car in front of you anyway so inching up is useless.

I probably think much like what a killer whale thinks as it watches a seal desperately trying to swim away. "Heh heh, where do you think you're going?"

You're going no where. The only time I find it useful to inch up is if you wanna be a dick like myself by inching up to prevent ANYONE from thinking they could change lanes into the space in front of you. Really, what the hell's with people inching up while stopped at a red light? You're only a few inches closer to your destination. The only difference, no matter how negligible, is that you ended up wearing down your brakes more than had you not inched up.

Watching people inch up in traffic is funny. Is being an inch or two closer to your destination that important that you feel the need to do so at a stop light? If it is, I guess you have a whole set of other things to worry about besides me laughing at you from my car when I see you doing so.

Oh well, maybe I'm just so pathetic that I need to laugh at people to feel better about myself.

Air Dryers SUCK!

I have no problems using public restrooms. I'm not like those people that are too self-conscious of themselves to take a dump in a public restroom stall. Heck, I've taken pisses in the sinks before when the stalls and urinals were full. Since I have no problems doing that, it's obviously I have no problems taking a dump in public restrooms either. First off, I wanna ask those people why they have problems doing so. It's not like you're taking a dump in front of an audience. I find you people rather amusing because, eventually, you people WILL have to take a dump in a public stall and I find it funny seeing how those kinda people seem to freak out at having to do so. It's also funny seeing people trying to hold it in so they can get home.

Now, while I have no problems using public restrooms, I do have problems with certain kinds of restrooms. The restrooms I can't stand are the ones that use air dryers instead of paper towel dispensers.metimes, I don't even care to wash my hands, not because I'm lazy, but because I

Anyway, when I wash my hands, I wanna be able to dry my hands. The problem is that air dryers suck. Sure, they don't really help me in drying my hands since it usually shuts off before my hands are actually dry but they also suck for other reasons.

I like washing my hands when I see paper towel dispensers. If there are only air dryers around, cleaning my hands has no significance since I have to touch the door handle to open the door to leave the restroom. Guess how nasty that door handle is? I'm sure there are a shitload of people out there that don't wash their hands. If that's the case, touching the door handle to get outta the restroom basically defeats the purpose of cleaning your hands. There are three major places where germs can be found, on the faucet knobs, on the door handles, and on the paper towel dispenser handle.

The faucet knob is filthy because people need to turn the knob after taking a shit or piss to get the water running. The paper towel dispenser handle is dirty because of the people who have dirty hands from using the faucet knobs before using the paper towel dispensers. The door handles are also dirty because there are a lot lazy people out there that don't bother washing their hands anyway before they leave the restroom. Frankly speaking, the bathroom is literally a shithole loaded with germs.

Now, if you have a paper towel dispenser, you can easily get outta the restroom with your hands clean. Before you wash your hands, pull the paper towel handle a few times to have some paper towels ready for use later on. Go wash your hands. Without turning the water off, use the paper towel you have at the ready to turn off the water and pull the lever for some more paper towels. You dry your hands with the with the second paper towel and use it one last time on the handle to open the door that'll let you exit the restroom. There you have it, a surefire way of getting out of a restroom without spreading nasty germs onto your hands.

With air dryers. You can't do this. This is because, without paper towels, there is no real way you can get outta the restroom unless you touch the door handle to open the restroom door. Sure, the door sometimes swing the other way, but it's not always the case. Of course, you have a few options, like using the sleeve of your shirt or waiting for someone to enter the restroom and leave when they open the door, but both of them seem a bit annoying. Using your sleeve to get out means your shirt sleeve will get the germs. While they're not on your body, they might as well be. Waiting for someone to open the door for you is also pretty useless since you have no idea how long you might have to wait.

If we eliminate all the air dryers from all public restrooms and replace them with paper towel dispensers, that means I'll will feel some sense of satisfaction in cleaning my hands since that means they won't get dirty again when I try to leave the restroom.

Now, because I wrote a rant about how to keep clean when using the restroom, people probably think I'm one of those people terrified of germs that suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Let me assure to you that I am not a neat freak or a suffer from OCD.

Anyways, air dryers suck.

I Hate Obnoxious People

And what's funny is that girls do this the most but they can get away with it since a guy is willing to put up with their stupid shit so long as it might give him a chance to get laid.

I was watching this stupid show the other day. I don't really remember what the name of it was except I thought the show sucked. It seemed a bit like a dance tournament where various people do various styles of dance and try to strut their stuff on the stage in hopes of winning something I could give a rat's ass about.

The thing I noticed about that show is that the audience around the dance stage seemed to consist almost entirely of females. I'm sure many guys don't mind seeing anything that has more females than males. Well, you guys should think otherwise. If that was the case, where we have towns with a lot more females than males, we'd probably see those damn 'Mac' makeup stores at every corner. Oh yeah, and more of those scented candle stores. What's with women and scented candles? Don't they realize that guys don't like seeing candles because the hardened wax looks like someone jizzed all over the candle holder?

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that having many girls in a single place that consist of applauding ANYTHING is a big mistake. Girls make too much goddamn noise. How the fuck can girls get so goddamn worked up over the STUPIDEST FUCKING SHIT?

Thinking it could be PMS is stupid. Sure, when girls are menstruating, anything can get them worked up and in a frenzy, but you need to know that this is another area of 'girls getting worked up over the stupidest fucking shit'.

Let's take a show like TRL. It's an MTV show that basically plays the top ten music videos and is hosted by Carson Daly. Have you ever watched that show and watched how all these girls go fucking nuts over ANY music star that show up as guests on that show? How the fuck can you possibly get worked up over seeing someone famous? Really, is your life so pathetic that you need to find solace in admiring someone who could give a rat's ass about you and your pathetic fanaticism?

Before you girls start arguing about how we guys are the same with sports and usually cheer our heads off for our favorite teams, let it be known that cheering sports is cool and cheering for stupid shit like some damn boy-band isn't.

Shit, after watching that dance show and watching all these girls scream their heads off as some white dude emulates Michael Jackson's Thriller dance choreography exactly, I've come to realize that girls seem to find it perfectly fine to be obnoxious bitches and just keep screaming just for the fuck of it. How the fuck can they find seeing someone dancing like that incredibly cool? The guy EMULATED Michael Jackson's dance choreography! The guy didn't come up with any new dance moves, he didn't spice up the dance choreography and make it better, he didn't do shit. If I wanna see something like that, I would rather watch the original, not so impostor. I found it really sad watching this and seeing a buncha girls screaming their heads off like the guy was actually Micheal Jackson in person doing said dance choreography.

Why do girls feel the need to make so much noise at the stupidest shit? Have you ever seen girls CRY at the sight of some famous superstar when they are at a concert? Holy shit! What the fuck's with that? Okay, I know girls are more emotional than guys are. But you know what? I don't care. How the fuck can you be moved to tears? I know, I don't understand because I'm a guy. And y'know what? I'm glad. Off the top of my head, I can only think of a few things that can make a guy cry. 1)His dog dies 2)His parents die 3)His best friend dies 4)He accidentally sat on his balls. Now you girls should understand why I don't understand how you girls could be moved to tears seeing a pop superstar.

Making as much noise as possible at ANYTHING seems bullshit. If I'm at a concert or such, I want to be able to hear what's going on. Why the fuck do I want to hear your super-loud whistling? Ooh, you're so special. You can whistle real loudly. Here's a question, if your incessant whistling annoys me, why the fuck would it not annoy anyone else? Am I an exception? Do I not see the awesomeness that is your whistling loudly? Hm, I think not. I think I'm like everyone else, where I hate fucks like you that always wanna make noise.

Okay, so maybe these people are getting into the groove of things and don't realize they're being obnoxious fucks. Well, they must be morons. Does getting caught up in things let you off the hook? Of course not. Let's say we all start rioting and you start rioting with us. If you get caught, does saying that you got caught up with the flow of things let you off? Of course not. Getting caught up with the excitement of anything does not mean you should act like a dumb fuck. Saying you were caught up in the thrill of things as an excuse is stupid.

Hopefully, after you've read this, the next time you decide to just scream at the top of your lungs at stupid shit like the sight of some dude on a stage dancing or singing or playing an instrument, try and remember this rant.

You could very well be that obnoxious fuck that this rant is about.

STUCK ON A SITE!

I hate those sites that you hop onto that don't let you hit the 'Back' button out of there. I constantly run across these sites, be it porn-related or not, and it really pisses me off. I usually accidentally end up on these sites via search engines. Why the heck do these sites not want me to hit the 'Back' button out of there? Do they think that preventing me from leaving their site will make me wanna hang around and look around simply because I'm too lazy to close a browser and open a new one? Wrong! It makes me hate the site all the more. And keep in mind I'm not talking about those sites where you can exit by hitting the 'Back' button twice quickly. I'm talking the ones where you can't get out of no matter how quickly you hit the 'Back' button.

When I go looking for action figures or comics to buy, I usually go around price matching for the best price (ie: the place that has the best shipping charges). Therefore, that means I'm constantly checking out multiple sites, leaving and entering and so on. The problem is that, on occasions, I come across a site that doesn't let me leave via the 'Back' button. They simply trap me on their site. If that's the case, I make sure I don't buy from that site. If I am a potential customer, why would you want to inconvenience me by forcing me to stay on your site and having to open a new browser? Inconveniencing me make dislike your site and makes me more unlikely of using your site in the first place. That's not good business, to inconvenience a potential customer. For instance, if I need to buy something at the store (ie: not online) it's like me browsing a store and the store suddenly locking the doors behind me to keep me from leaving.

One of the most annoying things about the Internet is the dreaded pop-up. You're surfing the Internet and suddenly, a pop-up window pop's up when you visit a particular site. It's annoying having to deal with pop-ups since they usually block the site you wanna view so you have to take the time to actually close the pop-up window. Of course, you can easily get rid of that by getting various pop-up blockers like Zero Popup or getting the Google Bar that has a pop-up blocker built in. Nowadays, since we don't really have to worry about pop-ups, we still have to deal with those sites that prevent you from leaving it via the 'Back' button. These sites I find worse than those pop-ups. Getting trapped on a site sucks.

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